Love from a Distance: decisions in dealing with a mentally ill parent

My Dad is feeling better. His emails have increased and with that has come new challenges. He wants to do something special for my son who will be hitting a milestone birthday this year. I opened an email from my Dad today where he asks me 7 questions. It's a short email. Just full of... Continue Reading →

Owning it

And that about sums up where my heart is at. I've been praying for protection as I process through and 'own' my story, my hurt, my feelings, my life. I remember having an appointment with a christian counselor in my teens, where he said to me that my healing would be easier if my Dad... Continue Reading →

I do not need fixing

I have a fixer in my life. She attends our church and sees herself as a mother figure but has not the mothering personality traits that I appreciate most. Nurturing, gentle, tenderhearted ... those are traits that I identify with in spiritual mothering types. She is encouraging but in a problem-solving way; very down to... Continue Reading →

Pounding Fence Posts

Metaphorically Speaking: It takes more time and effort to put in fence posts, than to pull them out. However, we musn't forget that the one putting them in holds the hammer.┬áMy mantra today is: "I hold the hammer!" Healthy boundaries are hard work to put and keep in place, especially when you have to keep... Continue Reading →

Afraid to Break

  Gracefully Broken This is the beautiful heart-cry song that I started writing with this afternoon. The thought of being 'gracefully broken' is one of those bitter-sweet musings... how God can use the hard circumstances in life that break us to bring about good. I've been thinking on where my church leadership journey has been... Continue Reading →

Open Heart Surgery

I found out that my Dad is going to be having open heart surgery this week sometime. I have no idea if I will get a phone call after it is done to let me know that he is okay, or if I will just need to wait to find out. Maybe my brother, the... Continue Reading →

Mid-January Catch-Up Part 2

I've been meaning to get here for days... It feels good to finally settle down for a few minutes. I've been busy working on a Bible study that I'd like to start teaching in March or early April. I am putting together my little 'guinea-pig group' and hoping to get things more refined as we... Continue Reading →

Our Lives are Precious

("My life is precious and you're not allowed to hurt me." I'm not saying that suffering doesn't happen; or that we shouldn't expect it - but the ongoing toxicity with family, as well as toxic people in my ministry life, must end. I just don't want to keep on the way things have been. I... Continue Reading →

Mid-December Health Update

I find myself working through emotional baggage at the same time that I am losing weight and learning about being newly diagnosed with hypothyroidism, and continuing to work through the anxiety and depression cycle. It's been good for me as a release to get 'the uglies out' and use my voice, but its almost like... Continue Reading →

Suffering vs. Sacrifice

It's just skin cancer and not mine -- these cells with a destructive mind of their own belong to my husband. He first noticed the small, red mark (much like a sunburned circle of a bruise) on his arm in the summer. He wasn't sure what it was and thought perhaps it was just a... Continue Reading →

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